What Is Sibling Jealousy in Children?
Sibling jealousy is a situation in which an older child is unable to accept a new baby joining the family. It is a natural emotion commonly observed among siblings. This feeling of jealousy is seen in the older sibling, who believes that all the love will be directed toward the new sibling upon their birth and fears that the love for them will end. Even if parents are very sensitive and careful about this issue, children sometimes struggle greatly to overcome this feeling. But the most important factor, of course, is the family’s attitude and the child’s temperament and personality traits.
In cases of sibling jealousy, the relationships children form at a young age, as well as their personality and sense of self, will play a significant role in all the choices they make throughout their lives. In early childhood, as children begin to speak and develop their ability to make sense of the world, their emotions and thoughts first take shape within the family.
First and foremost, since children begin to form relationships with their mother, father, and siblings, this process must be managed very carefully, especially by the parents. The older child should be gradually introduced to this idea and prepared for it even before the new sibling is born. The child should be prepared to understand that the same love will be given equally to both them and their sibling. It is important to understand that when the dynamics and management of relationships among the mother, father, and siblings are well-balanced, healthy and positive relationships within the family will be sustained.
In Which Children Is Sibling Jealousy Most Commonly Observed?
The phenomenon of sibling jealousy in children typically begins around age 2. In children aged 2 and older, with the arrival of a new baby—that is, a sibling—children may feel that all the love will be directed toward the new baby and that they themselves will be forgotten. This is perfectly normal. The child may begin to feel extremely jealous of their parents and, at times, exhibit aggressive behavior. A child who has always known that all the attention and love in the family were directed solely at them suddenly realizes that they will have to share their parents with their sibling and begins to experience an emotional turmoil.
When both siblings are girls, they may show more signs of jealousy than in cases where there are two boys or one girl and one boy. At the same time, the age difference between them is also a major factor. The smaller the age gap, the more intense the jealousy tends to be. For all these reasons, jealousy is generally more severe in children under the age of 3 and in children who still need their mother’s care and support.
What Are the Causes of Sibling Jealousy?
It is well known that jealousy, a natural emotion, stems from an inability to accept that loved ones are shared with others and, at its core, from feelings of insecurity. With the birth of a sibling, a child’s sense that the time set aside for them is diminishing may appear to be an attitude directed toward the sibling, but it can actually lead to the development of feelings such as anger, resentment, and hurt toward the parents.
At the same time, a small age gap between siblings is one of the main causes of jealousy. Another reason may be a difference in gender. A sibling born of a different gender than the child may lead the child to believe that their parents brought this child into the world because they were dissatisfied with their own gender. In this situation, the parents bear the greatest responsibility.
They must be very careful when reflecting their preferences based on gender. Another important factor is the comparison of siblings with one another. This comparison can lead to competition among siblings and trigger feelings of jealousy. In such situations, parents must be careful to avoid using phrases that fuel competition when speaking in front of their children.
At the same time, certain behaviors of close relatives—such as grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, or uncles—can also trigger feelings of jealousy in children. Focusing attention or affection solely on the younger child, making the older child feel sidelined, or comparing siblings to one another can lead to intense feelings of jealousy among siblings.
What Are the Signs of Sibling Jealousy?
It is perfectly normal for a child to feel jealous when they think that the attention and care they once received exclusively have suddenly diminished with the arrival of a sibling. And the ways in which children express jealousy can vary from child to child.
Children who experience feelings of jealousy often believe that if they act like their sibling, all the attention and care will shift back to them. For this reason, they may tend to imitate their sibling by acting like a baby. Aside from all this, the general signs of jealousy are as follows:
- Altına yapma
- Bebeksi tavırlara bürünme
- Kardeşi gibi anne memesinden emzirilmek istenmesi
- Parmak emme
- Sürekli ilgi ve alaka bekleme
- Ağlama ve kriz nöbetleri
Çocuğunuzun Yeni Doğan Kardeşe Uyum Sağlamasına Nasıl Yardımcı Olabilirsiniz?
Your first child is used to being the baby of the family and is very aware that all the attention is on them. So it shouldn’t be surprising that they feel jealous of this new baby who seems to be stealing all your attention and care. When your child wants your attention, saying things like “I’m breastfeeding the baby, so I can’t help you” or “We can’t go out; it’s the baby’s nap time” will only fuel your child’s resentment and jealousy.
Instead of pointing your finger at your child when you want to correct them, you can find alternative ways to say “no.” Try to downplay your child’s feelings of jealousy as much as possible. When your child shows signs of jealousy toward a sibling, try not to overreact to the situation. Just try to understand and accept their feelings.
Try to avoid making comparisons as much as possible. One child will naturally be better than the other in school or in other areas. Always avoid comparing their abilities or behavior. Encourage your children to compare themselves to their own past abilities and achievements.
You Might Be Interested In: Sleep Disorders in Children
Yorumlar